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Writer's pictureM.H. Barton

The Five Stages of Grief in Avengers - Endgame

Greetings, intrepid readers! M. H. Barton here with another blog post on the art and craft of storytelling. Today, I’m going to examine one of my favorite films of all time: Avengers – Endgame. Specifically, I want to look at how this epic, rip-roaring action film handles incredibly emotional moments in its story. The one weakness of many films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is their tendency to shoehorn in jokes and humor at bad times, interrupting poignant and emotional moments. Endgame, thankfully, is an exception to this. The film is incredibly well crafted, and the Russo brothers showed great awareness of the weight this movie carried on its shoulders. The result is a story that, while jam-packed with action, still pauses to breathe at serious moments.


Perhaps the best example of this is how the main heroes handle their grief from their biggest failure. The five stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, are a real thing, as anyone who has experienced loss or tragedy can attest to. Everyone experiences them differently, sometimes only briefly touching some stages while fixating on others. We can see this in the original six Avengers, both at the beginning of the film and near the end. Some of them are remarkably consistent in dealing with their grief, while others are impacted by the events of the story so much that things change for them by the end. To start, let’s look at the film’s beginning. The heroes’ loss to Thanos in Infinity War is still raw, and even when they manage to track him down, the Infinity Stones have already been destroyed. Their failure is complete and they are forced to live with it for five long years.


Thor Odinson’s grief is the easiest to pinpoint – denial. It makes sense why he would find himself in such a state. Not only was Thor perhaps the strongest Avenger, especially with the new weapon he acquired to battle Thanos with, but he nearly won the day. He should have won the day, but instead of going for a kill shot on Thanos when he had the chance, he went for the heart to cause the Mad Titan a more painful death as retribution for a previous attack on Thor’s people. He should have gone for the head, and that knowledge haunts him for years. Yes, Thor is the one who ultimately kills Thanos, which he’s happy to boast of to Rocket and Banner, but even Thor knows that he was all too late. As he wastes away his days with beer, pizza, and video games, he sinks further into denial, not only about Thanos but also about being the ruler of his people. Thor lost the fight, and in the process, the Asgardians lost their king.


The loss against Thanos came as a shock to all of Earth’s heroes, but none more so than Clint Barton. Recently paroled and on house arrest after the events of Civil War, Clint has retired as Hawkeye and devoted himself to his family, hence why he wasn’t even involved in the battle against Thanos. With no warning whatsoever, his entire family disappears, leaving Clint completely alone and without his foundation. He spends the next five years as the Ronin, a masked vigilante who hunts down members of organized crime syndicates with lethal force. Clint is not just angry – he has given himself completely over to his rage. The fact that many who survived the Snap still seek to harm their fellow human beings enrages him, especially with the loss of his family. In such a mental state, what is there for a retired assassin and agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. to do? Bring about his vision of justice in violent fashion.


At first glance, it seems Bruce Banner is doing well five years after Thanos. When the Hulk refused to appear in that fight, Bruce decided to devote himself to creating his perfect self. The result was Hulk’s massively strong body being controlled by Bruce’s brilliant mind, or as he calls it, the best of both worlds. Bruce is still helping the public as much as possible and has become something of a celebrity since the Snap. But under the surface, Bruce still carries unbelievable pain, which points directly to his stage of grief – bargaining. Unable to believe how badly they lost, Bruce constantly questions the situation and what he can do about it. “What if I improve the Hulk? Constantly save civilians? Become a role model for kids? If I do these things, will the hurt go away?” Bruce is willing to pay any price to erase the pain of their defeat, but he has no idea how high that price will eventually be.


Steve Rogers has spent his five years reaching out to as many people as he can, trying to help them through the loss of half the world’s population. His group therapy sessions appear to be helpful, as the members are slowly starting to build new lives and families for themselves. Steve’s ability to empathize with them, having lost his original life after WWII, is also of great benefit. Yet in spite of helping others through their grief, Steve is unable to help himself. He later admits to Natasha that, as much as he’s helping others to move on, he simply can’t. Steve is deep in depression, and a classic sign of those who are most depressed is a compulsive desire to help others and make others happy, even at the cost of one’s own health and mental state.


Of all the Avengers, Tony Stark is the one who has truly accepted their loss. He has married Pepper Potts, built a home for them in the mountains, and even had a daughter along the way. This actually makes sense, given that he and Nebula were stranded for days in space after the Snap. Tony had already accepted that he would die, so how tough could accepting a loss and building a new life be? Even in his grief, he’s found new happiness that he wouldn’t trade for the world. This is why he is initially so resistant to the possibility of undoing the damage Thanos did to the world. He won’t risk what he’s gained. Even once he comes on board with the Time Heist, he talks about his family at every turn, ensuring none of the other Avengers try anything that might harm them by accident. Tony’s acceptance has made him stronger, but also desperate to keep the new status quo intact.


So, we have the five stages of grief in five Avengers, but where does that leave our sixth Avenger, Natasha Romanoff? Nat is actually someone we actively see go through the five stages of grief through the course of the movie. At the very beginning, she’s in denial that Thanos could have won, telling Steve their plan to track him down will work. Five years after their failure, Nat is now in command of S.H.I.E.L.D. and trying to keep order in the world, a classic sign of bargaining, as we’ve seen with Bruce. At the same time, we see her try to contain her anger at the situation, particularly when she reprimands Steve for an optimistic comment about seeing whales off the coast of Manhattan. She soon arrives at depression when she can no longer ignore the reports of Barton’s acts of terror and violence. Finally, she reaches acceptance when she and Clint go to retrieve the Soul Stone. In deciding to sacrifice herself for the chance to undo the damage of the past, Nat accepts many things. She accepts her grief, her past mistakes, her love for the Avengers, and the full responsibility as head of S.H.I.E.L.D. to protect the world. Most of all, she finally accepts that she has transitioned from a cold, selfish assassin to a true hero.


Natasha’s sacrifice leads us to one of the most emotional scenes of the entire film. With the Time Heist successfully completed, all of the Avengers return to their present, only to discover Nat didn’t make it back. We then cut to a dock on a lake where the remaining five original Avengers process the situation. Once again, their natural stages of grief are apparent. Thor is in complete denial, confident that they can bring her back with the Infinity Stones. Having watched Nat die, Clint lashes out at Thor in anger because he knows even the Infinity Stones can’t revive her. Bruce is similarly angry, but after throwing a bench into the lake in frustration, he states that they have to make it count. Bruce is still bargaining, trying to think of anything he can do to erase the pain. Steve is now more depressed than ever, silently crying off to the side and barely able to form a word. And finally, there’s Tony. Knowing the finality of Nat’s sacrifice, he’s already accepted the truth and moved on with a single question: Did she have any family? Steve can only reply that they were her family.


This is a beautiful, heartbreaking scene that is so wonderfully crafted. Each character reacts to Nat’s death exactly as one would expect from their past interactions. Thor is hurt to lose a teammate but didn’t have quite the personal connection to her. Tony remains a bit aloof with a few cracks in the armor, harkening back to his early distrustful relationship with Nat. Steve, having grown close to Nat in S.H.I.E.L.D. and on the run as vigilantes, is devastated at the loss of, in essence, his sister. As for Bruce and Clint, none of the Avengers had a stronger bond with Nat than them. It stands to reason they would be the angriest of all. Even with her incredible courage and willpower, Bruce and Clint had always worked to protect her – Clint in helping her turn from her past to join S.H.I.E.L.D. and Bruce by leaving Earth after the battle of Sokovia. Nat may have made her choice, but Bruce and Clint still believe they failed her. The final piece of beauty in this scene is the audience’s realization that this is a callback to the Avengers’ first adventure together, where the loss of Phil Coulson galvanized them to save the world. Here again, the loss of a beloved hero with no powers at all becomes the catalyst for the Avengers’ ultimate victory.


That’s going to do it for this short entry. We storytellers always strive for impactful moments of real emotion, but crafting those moments is such a difficult process. I hope my musings have helped you work grief and acceptance into your own stories and characters. I’d love to hear about your efforts in the comments, or you can reach out directly. Feel free to mention if you have any ideas or requests for future entries. I’ve got an active running list of ideas, but I’m always open to more. I’d appreciate it if you’d leave a like and share this post on social media. And to stay up to date on future blog posts, you can sign up for my monthly newsletter on my website. Until the next story!

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